ashke.nu

Looking at my archives, I see that I’ve been writing something every month from June 2003 (and that’s as far as my archives go, I know I wrote before that, that was just the switch to movable type). Up until last January.

I feel completely out of date with everything, I’ve completley left most of my websites to their own fate, whilst doing what instead I don’t know. I find that all scripts I used to use are out of date and have “major security risks”, and I find it a dread to check my e-mail, just knowing the amount of spam and randomness I have to sort through.

The internet is not a fun place anymore.

I have to remember to update my fanlistings, and this time I actually let it slip a bit too long, as I didn’t update since August until today.

But I forget.

It’s so easy to forget chores, isn’t it? I find myself reading more things, than doing my own things. Participating in message boards is much cooler and entertaining than it was a couple of years ago, and I’ve found other things to occupy my mind with.

Sort of. I mean I’m still constantly bored out of my mind, and this has made my unbelievably lethargic regarding everything. I can’t be bothered to go to redundant tutorials one day a week - only lesson we have in a week regarding practical studies. And I find myself getting more and more alienated from the film making, and more invited towards the visual theory - which I btw chose a unit unrelated to my own course.

Passion and ambition is just not in me anymore. To be frank - I just can’t be arsed.

And that’s what happened with my websites. Now I’m simply revamping the whole site, because I found another purpose for it, and thought I might as well go through everything I’ve got on here, delete it, and revamp anything usable. And update the fanlistings which I so dearly hang onto.

I need to get more in touch with things, I’m getting embarrassingly bad at everything, just because I haven’t been practising. At the same time I find myself going to much simpler approaches to webdesign, rather than trying to impress with my fantabulous skills, which we all know I possess…

So what am I actually doing at the moment [in general]? Not a thing. Trying not to die out of boredom, and trying not to get too obsessed about losing the last of the “puppy fat” I’ve been trying to lose the last 6 years, which is pretty much what my life consist of (tracking what I eat and reading nutritional values on product labels). So maybe writing over-long posts like this will bring some life back into me. Or just cure the boredom for at least 10 minutes. Let’s hope so anyway.

So it’s been ages since I updated this space. I’ve been lazy with everything else as well, but I still feel a bit bad. Seems I have to force myself to write, and I never used to be that way before. I don’t know what has changed, yes, college, yes, more work-load, but did that stop me before? No it didn’t, I worked non-stop last summer and still managed to update every other week or so. Everything has died for me, don’t take care of my websites anymore, mo other domain is on an indefinite hiatus, and my fanlistings get updated maybe once a month or twice. Yes, still within the allowed time, but still. Seems like a burden and duty rather than an enjoyable waste of time.

A lot of things have happened since I last wrote. I don’t even remember what I wrote last time, probably about going to New York in February. Yes, that is still on, don’t know the exact date which is a bit embarrassing considering it’s not that far off in the future. I had the absolute worst holidays ever, got mono and was stuck at home with a wingeing mum, absolutely miserable. I did miss home, but after a week the glory of it wore off. Felt like proper shit and had to visit the doctors three times before they could tell me there’s nothing to do but wait for it to go away. And I was missing the one person who has come to be one of the most important people in my life - Lex. Absolutely raped my phone bill, but so worth it.

Life hasn’t, thus, been a dance, but getting steadily better. Not that sick anymore, only traces of the effects mono has had on me left. Ear has been absolutely bonkers since my flight back, has been locked and had a sensation of being underwater since. Only now starting to pop a bit, but is it a surprise having had an ear infection.

I should seriously get around to update this website and give it a total revamp. I had ideas even before I came here, but haven’t actually got around to do anything about it due to the immense workload. Have a million things to sort out with little time to do it. This includes going to London on Saturday to vote in the presidential election. Didn’t vote the first round as I didn’t have the time, so I shouldn’t miss the opportunity this time around. Well, I won’t have to go alone, Lex offered to come and give me company. Nice, as train trip absolutely bores the hell out of me.

Well, that’s as much as I can think of at the moment. Laters, dudes.

A lot of things are happening in my life right now, which I won’t get into that much right now. Our first project pretty much blew for me, so I’m hoping the second one will be better. I’m working all weekends at the cinema, which means my social life might be suffering a little. Not much, since student nights are usually during the week anyway, but I always have to decline going somewhere on Friday, as I mostly get in at 9.30 on Saturdays. I love working at the cinema, but I hate having to do 12h long shifts. But I guess it’s alright, since I’m getting paid for it.

So, I have bought my tickets back to Finland. Cost me almost £200 pounds. It would’ve cost me only £170, if I hadn’t had to transfer money from Finland to my English account. I got my tickets online, so the card I paid with had to be issued in the country of departure for security reasons. Well, during those few days it took to transfer the money, the price for the ticket home went from £85 to £110. I was a bit upset about this, but there was nothing I could do anymore about it but live with it. Besides, it means I get to go home, and on a cruise to Stockholm with my sister.

So it is confirmed, I am going to New York in February. It will cost me £545 pounds, but I think it’ll be so worth it. I really don’t know anyone of those that are going, but I’m not gonna let it bother me - it’s New York! Even if I have to go alone. I’ll probably go to most of the exhibitions the tutors have in mind to go to, so I won’t be completely alone. I’m a bit excited, though I know this will entirely mess up my budget. I can afford it barely, but I’ll have a tough time after wards to get back on track. For once I’m really glad I’m working. I’ll just take one more shifts to earn extra money.

What else…I think this is all I have to say. I can’t think of anything I could add, anyway.

Laters.

I’m going to have to come back to writing here, because my LJ is now mostly friends only. I decided to do that since I talk a lot about real life over there, and the people I’m around with, so as respect to them, I don’t want to upset them by them knowing what I write about them. But I’m a person who needs to vent a lot, and obviously I can’t vent to these people, so I vent to those whom it will matter very little - my online friends. So, this journal is thus RL-free, and won’t upset anyone who reads it, at least not by having to read of themselves. In ways that would upset them, that is.

Gah, I might have confused myself there for a bit.

The thing is, you can find all of my website through finding only ONE, if you were inclined to look for them. So this is just a JUST IN CASE thing. That’s why my LJ is now FO.

So “welcome back, Val, you were sorely missed at ashke.nu.” Thank you, I’m glad to be back.

Am now well lodged in England. Term started officially yesterday, and I’ve already had my first job interview. I’m hoping on getting it, the job is ideal, and it would allow me to save for my next rent installment, and by a lucky chance get me to New York in February. Oh, how I’d love that, but the trip is £520, if I remember correctly, and that’s a lot. But it’s the US, and it’s New York even though it is February and mid winter. Grr. New York.

Course seems great, the tutors are really nice and have shown us really great short films/videos. First assignment was very basic and easy, but fun still. Everyone’s not a the same level using cameras etc, so a mandatory induction and introduction course is only reasonable.

Just to note, everything is really expensive in the UK. So beware, a paperback book costs £8 or more - WTF!!! Some things are cheaper, but that’s only because it’s cheaper to get it to the UK than getting it to Finland. Movie tickets are £7, £5 for students, which still is a lot. But movies are movies! Must sees!

Just updating to ensure everyone I’m actually alive. Lethargic, but alive non-the-less. Must now get sleep before I pass out.

I haven’t really known what to write here about, as I have quite gotten the best of my livejournal. Though I promised to only rant there about stupid stuff, I have come to realize there isn’t much more than the stupid stuff to write about.

Other than moving to England on September 21st, nothing important is going on. I am planning on revamping kalenedral.net, add a lot of stuff I haven’t updated yet, and make the updating over there more simple by writing some sort of script for it. I’m already brainstorming on things to include in the script, but it will probably be a while before I start even coding the thing. Once I start coding, it will be at least a month or two before I finish it, considering my studies, and my knowledge of PHP. But at least I have a project to look forward to.

What to do with ashke.nu, as I do have my livejournal as my blog, nowadays. I’m going to keep it my personal site, but what to do with the blog? I don’t want to throw it away, if I ever were to need it, and I do have more than one year worth of ramblings which I am not very much inclined to trash, even with the content considered. I haven’t decided yet, but I am thinking on it. I have a few ideas, but I don’t want to destroy the ideas by abusing them with my blabbering about them. So until I have some sort of conviction what to do, I’ll keep my mouth shut about it.

So yeah, regarding frequent updates, you can check out my livejournal at veele.livejournal.com, and friend me if you’ve got your own LJ.

I’ll keep this blog posted on my decisions regarding my domains etc. so be on the look out for that.

Until later - cheers!

I do wonder why Harry so easily accepted that it in fact was the Minister who came to see him, when the Weasley’s obviously couldn’t trust themselves to be knocking on their own door. If I’d been using polyjuice potion to pose as someone, it would’ve been the Minister.

Befuddling.

Gotta rush. Must get some sleep before work shift.

As I mentioned in my livejournal, I finished reading it.

Comments? I was much expecting it to happen, that which happened. Somehow it wasn’t hard to see it coming, and I was secretly hoping this in fact would be the outcome. Am probably being very cryptic to most readers, but some of you might still be reading, and I don’t want to spoil anything for you.

Best one yet, or is my current opinion anyway. Am both exhilarated and crushed, and feel a slight pride as well. You figure it out.

Have slept very little, as have been working WHILE reading the book, getting about 4 hours of sleep the last few days. Have been working nights, so went straight after work to get the book for me and Pal (she wanted her own copy), and read till I went unconscious. Slept till had to go back to work. I’m now having two days off, hope to be able to read it again with a bit less mulled head. Clarity is a virtue.

Crushed. So crushed.

New layout. I like it. Sort of.

[ E D I T : ] Fixed an IE error. Had forgotten to put a left-attribute while absolute positioning the left column.

I had an Appendectomy on Wednesday at 3AM. I came home on Thursday at 1PM.

I have a scar on my stomach the size of my thumb. It hurts.

Otherwise I guess I’m fine. As fine as you can be after being sliced up in ways you didn’t want to be. I mean, they just informed me that I’m having surgery sometime during the night. In case my appendix is infected. In case. Try to sleep after that. I thought I was going to die.

Well, it was infected, so no harm done. I wasn’t cut up for no reason at all. But I ain’t a happy camper anyway. I haven’t worked long enough to get paid sick leave, so I’m losing many, many euros during my two week vacation. I was supposed to be working the whole Mid Summer, and get extra payment for work on a bank holiday. Many euros, lost – like that!

Am thinking if I’d use my last pay check to travel to the south or somewhere. It’s cheaper if you pick a “left over” vacation from the travel agencies. So I might be able to afford it. This is, of course, just brain storming, nothing is saying that actually am going to travel. Should save my money for England. But I’m desperately needing sun, my skin is white as chalk.

So, Pal is telling me to start walking so my stomach won’t build the wrong kind of scar tissue. She informed me that the three separate scars I have are going to grow into one (not good) if I don’t start moving around a bit. Maybe I should. Am having nightmares where I get a hole in my stomach when my scar starts to grow inwards. Also dreamt that I took a swim and panicked afterwards that I’m not allowed to swim as long as I have the stitches still left.

Now Pal is begging me to bring ice cream, how rude, considering that I’m the crippled one. Forget her referring to my inwards-grown-scar and other nightmares, I call it blackmailing.